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  • Review - Angry Amputees - Slut Bomb

    31 jan 2006, 21:21

    Artist: Angry Amputees
    Album: Slut Bomb
    Rating: 4/5 or 8/10

    Review:
    There are very few chick-fronted punk bands. Those that do exist quite often are, in the gentlest possible terms, worthless pieces of high-pitched, whiny crap. To find a chick punk band that it’s possible to listen to without fear of your ears bleeding, you must weed through all the bobby-soxers who think that playing mediocre music really fast makes them punk. For every band like Tsunami Bomb, there is a band like the Eyeliners, for every Distillers, a Go Betty Go. But every once in a while, it’s possible to stumble across a chick punk band that makes up for all the anguish you have suffered and the tissues you have used to plug your bleeding ears. The Angry Amputees are this kind of band.
    Fronted by the gorgeous Stacey Dee, the Amputees sound exactly like you would expect a punk band to sound – gritty, fast, and exciting. The music on Slut Bomb has a frantic, pulsing beat covered by rhythmically melodic guitars topped off by Stacey’s slightly gravelly and entirely non-whiney voice. In fact, the music is so awesome that the fact that a girl is singing is very nearly of secondary importance. The lyrics are impressive, covering things like being obsessed with a famous guy who doesn’t know you exist (“Want Dead”), the dangers of adultery (“Psycho Bitch”), and the difficulties of having a relationship when you’re out playing at the clubs every night (“She’s Got It All”). In “Put Me to Bed,” Stacey attempts to reassure the boy she wants with lines like, “Take me with you. / You don’t have to ask / ‘cause I wanna feel you down in my pants. / It may be / that you can’t read. / Well who gives a fuck if you’re dyslexic.” Punk boys the world over are now attempting to cultivate a learning disability in hopes of this song being about them.
    If you’re looking for a good chick punk album, or just a good punk album period, you should pick up a copy of Slut Bomb. I promise that you can listen to it without needing to keep the tissues handy to stop the bleeding.

    Highlights:
    Want Dead
    Put Me To Bed
    Fightfighting
  • Review - Alkaline Trio - Good Mourning

    31 jan 2006, 21:10

    Artist: Alkaline Trio
    Album: Good Mourning
    Rating: 4/5 or 8/10

    Review:
    Do you remember those old Halloween carols they taught you in kindergarten? “Ooooh went the wind and out when the lights.” And from the misty darkness, outlined only by the pale, wan light of the full harvest moon, steps the Alkaline Trio. They are all dressed in the same black pants, white button-up shirts, and black ties, and all six eyes are rimmed black with eyeliner. They appear, to the untrained eye, to be everyone’s worst nightmare – accountants gone crazy. But then they begin to perform, and the truth becomes clear – these men are far more concerning than nutty accountants. They are three punks with a disturbing taste for death.
    If the title of their fifth album, Good Mourning, didn’t clue you in to their penchant for the morbid, the first track will beat you over the head with it. A rollicking number with an awesome bass line, “This Could Be Love” will definitely make people stop and listen, which is, after all, what a good opening track is supposed to do. Unfortunately, since its chorus contains the lines, “Step one, slit my throat/step two, play in my blood/step three, cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house,” it will also probably scare off a large portion of listeners. Which is too bad. Those who stick around – mainly those who already like Alk3 – are in for a treat. Good Mourning is an example of a band finally attaining that perfect balance between writing about drinking and about death, not to mention perfecting their fun spooky sound. They even find the opportunity (and bravery?) to branch out, throwing in "Blue Carolina" and "Every Thug Need a Lady," a couple of love songs that don’t involve death, destruction, and mayhem. Just about the only trick on the whole album is "We’ve Had Enough," the first single, which is all about how much the radio still sucks, but somehow, after the nine millionth chant of “That’s it/we’ve had enough/please turn that fucking radio off,” I find my complaint is no longer with the radio industry. Still, this is, in my opinion, Alkaline Trio’s best effort yet. Though more polished and produced than Goddamnit, Good Mourning should please old Alk3 fans and gain some new converts.
    Just be sure to watch out for those crazy accountants.

    Highlights:
    Fatally Yours
    Blue Carolina
    Blue In The Face