29 okt 2010, 13:57Can't even admit it to the stupid keyboard.
27 okt 2010, 11:53I woke up this moring and thought to myself 'i feel taller'.
The one day of the year i get millions of hugs for the meer fact that i was born.
I thought it fair that i push majority of the contents of my mind, just aside for the day.
Worked a little bit. Was still kind of sitting there.
At the point of unexainable.
23 okt 2010, 12:35ignore
23 okt 2010, 11:19- I am not quite sleeping, i am fast in bed. Oh dear the feelings i have for Sufjan Stevens.
ksflakjf;wehgtleuvnsfkgjs snhdfoleurgrgwer < frustration.
Its not fair.
Its taken a completely different turn. Just as i thought i was maybe starting to get slightly even close to getting a thread of a grip -
Pointless thoughts and feelings bubbling around. Zooming past and then perhaps strolling along like it has no care in the world to how it might be affecting me.
One minute that, okay. Okay. Not yet even a damn day has passed and now this, oh right. What?
AND THEY ARE POINTLESS, USLESS THINKINGS. UNIMPORTANT.
everything is always changing
And my mind, can't seem to keep up. It's quite exhusting.
Often at times, it's very impossible for me to, - how ironic that i can not think of the word that describes exactly this.
The restriction i can't control. Maybe, its a good thing.
I feel like i am repeting myself,
20 okt 2010, 08:24So it turns out that i actually felt kind of fine yesterday, after my three hours of sleep that is. It was today, ugh.
I felt exhusted today, like my body saved it for today because yesterday i had an excursion and then Chris and Tessa's that night.
I actually feel, shock horror, quite relaxed. And, i mean, i don't know. (:
Mm. mm. mm.
Had a good day, relatively.
From Child studies on was particularly good. I know some cool people.
Have minimal school work, for at the very least the next week.
rgh. Then some little things pop into my mind. Just things to worry about. Like usual.
Looking forward to tonight. Bath, bed, movie.
hey, woah a whole actual smiley face made it in here.
Won't last long..
[Lover -Devendra Banhart, found it, got heaps excited, song from nick and norah's]
18 okt 2010, 15:52Its like a whole new world. Like the bottom of the sea that know one's seen.
Hearing birds chirping at this time of the morning, it feels,sounds, so surreal.
Like, its not meant to happen.
Should they not be asleep too?
I'm usually completely lost in my subconscious at this time. Dead to the chirping birds outside.
Unfortunately not tonight, i would much prefer to be sleeping.
But the busy-ness and confusion of my brain has lead me to not keeping up with school work and so here i am.
Completely determined to finish that assignment that was due last friday.
I've had four coffee's and some weetbix just then. I feel a little odd believe it or not.
Well i mean, chuck that into just one compartment out of the millions floating in my head all containing their own feelings, emotions, thoughts etc.
I'm quite glad that i'm fairly possitive that no one reads these. But i still like to write on here, because its there for anyone to read but kind of hidden. Eh, - whatever.
The thought of how dead i will be tomorrow keeps drifting through my thought process. I'm thinking, 2 coffees and a berrocca thing and prayer.
I like writing, especially like this. Feels good. Letting little bits out. And i'm aware that it would make no sence to anyone else. But, mm, like this, being able to put something into words feels like such a huge achievment for me.
I wonder what the birds are doing. I could only hear them when i was in the bath room. But i'd heard them once before and it was very late that time too.
Maybe theres that one bird that just sings everyone to sleep, no, because they go quiet once it gets dark.
But then, in the dead of the night i can hear that bird, i think its only one. I can't really remember.
*Question for Jesus when i meet him, - What were the birds doing up so late?
22 sep 2010, 07:48Listening to:
19 sep 2010, 05:57not missing out. not missing out. not missing out. not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.not missing out. not missing out. not missing out.
18 sep 2010, 08:39And i thought i was just super crap at skating.
Its actually my really really crap board that i got free from a show bag. (So its obviously surprising that its actually super crap)
I went skating with Kyle today and oh my, his board feels so good compared to mine. I'm not even going to ride mine anymore.
But I'm just super excited its just my board and not me, can't wait to get a new one :D
And also I'm buying Kyle's old keyboard from him and I've been saving for ages and I'm finally going to get it, real soon. I still don't actually have enough but I'm getting a loan from a lovely friend, haha. I'm just impatient
17 sep 2010, 07:56Too bad i actually like the house itself...
Its what the house holds i can't stand.
It's fine. Wow the things i complain about, when i actually don't deserve anything. And some people, don't have a house. Or food or any of the lovely things i have. Thank goodness for God :) he's so absolutely lovely.
But I'm not even whinging. Just, how completely ridiculous some things are.
I wonder if my brain will actually allow me to study tonight. I hope it does because i really need to get some of it done. Yay yearly's next week.