Sulisk

I live in the North of England. Finishing off my third novel. s-thorn@hotmail.co.uk

I blame John Peel, a BBC Radio DJ, for my wide range of music tastes and it was he who chose the music that was played. I just loved his show. R.I.P.

Hi, if you would like to see a larger picture of the front cover of my first novel, then please use the link www.lulu.com/suliskthorn this should take you to my Store-front on lulu. I have priced it low so the P&P is cheaper. There is some swearing, sex and violence, so I feel I must inform people about this. There's a larger picture that's tagged on facebook stwy@live.co.uk

A Wizard that stutters when casting spells. A mad dwarf that drinks lots of whiskey. A hippie elf that smokes lots of weed. A dragon that farts flames. A pink skinned goblin who doesn’t like swearing or fighting. A muscle-man fairy call Myyasssisssore. And many more unbelievable characters. Unbelievable Chaos, a crazy comedy that the Wizard Throokzas is based on me, I had a problem stuttering when I was about 20 years old, but I decided to take the piss out of it and it disappeared.

Hard $16.84 and soft $9.80 covers. For the UK it will be £6.99 soft & hard £11.99 and P&P £4.75 or Express £7.30 at the minimum, it depends on where you live in the world. There’s some swearing, sex and violence, so I feel I must inform people about this. If you do buy then THANK YOU and I hope it’s as enjoyable as all my proof readers have stated.

Free download sample of the first chapter

I can’t cancel the Down-Load on the hardcover & don’t wish to sell it in this form so I have set the price so high nobody will buy it.


The Ying Tong Song from the Goons

(Orchestral intro)
Tenor: There's a song that I recall My mother sang to me.
Spriggs (off): Oh! (a sigh) Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in
When I was ninety-three. (harp plays a rising chord...)
Spriggs: I diddle, I. Who was that bum? Bluebottle + Spriggs:
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong (bluebottle drops behind)
Ying tong iddle I po Spriggs: Keep lad up. Keep.
Bluebottle: Keep up lad up.

Both: Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po. Spriggs: lad
Both: Ying tong ying tong ying tong iddle I po (lad)
Iddle I po (lad) Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong (Spriggs: iddle) (Bluebottle: ying tong)
Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong iddle
Bluebottle (spoken): Ying tong iddle I po!
(short raspberry, Secombe) Both: Oh!
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po!
(trumpet bit) Bluebottle: Ying. Ying tongy tongy.
Ying tong iddle I po. Ying tong iddle I po.
(Secombe under this: What a lovely lovely boy!)
(or Secombe under this: What a lovely melody devine!)
Ying ying ying tongy tongy. (Milligan: Get out the rifle, sir.)
(or Milligan: Get off the record.) Yeeeng.
Ying tong ying tong d'gy-n'o. Ying tong d'ga.
(Secombe: Get away.) D'g d'g d'ga.
Ying tong iddle I po. Seagoon:Hear that crazy rhythm
Driving me insane. Strike your partner on the bonce (bonk?).
(thump) Eccles: Ooh. I felt no pain.
(Seagoon screeches) Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles:
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong ying...
(harp chord rises) Soprano: Take me back to Vienna....
(Raspberry section, probably Milligan)
Bloodnok: Ohhhhh! Eccles: Oh!
(harp chord) Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the....
(crash!) Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle (far off):
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po (mad dash to foreground)
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po (Spriggs: where's he going lad?)
(BB: I don't know) Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Seagoon: LOOK OUT!
(cry from Bluebottle) (mad dash to distance) (hastily)
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po (dash to foreground)
Ying tong... (whine of bomb dropping, explosion)
Double speed, but same tempo, Goons:
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po.
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po.
One: Ying! Tongy tongy tongy.
Yiddy diddy diddy da daaa. Ying diddy.
Ying tong diddle. Yiddada boo.
(rhythmic thigh slapping, raspberry)
All Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po
Iddle I po. Eccles: Whoooooh!



Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.

Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the cross fire of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger,
You legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Treatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter,
You piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers and i'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow of yesterday's triumph,
And sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child, you winner and loser,
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!



I cant remember anything
Cant tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops me

Now that the war is through with me
Im waking up I can not see
That there is not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me

Back in the womb its much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But cant look forward to reveal
Look to the time when Ill live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me
Now the world is gone Im just one
Oh god,help me hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God help me

Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell



God save the queen The fascist regime
They made you a moron Potential H-bomb

God save the queen She ain't no human being
There is no future In England's dreaming

Don't be told what you want Don't be told what you need
There's no future, no future, No future for you

God save the queen We mean it man
We love our queen God saves

God save the queen 'Cause tourists are money
And our figurehead Is not what she seems

Oh God save history God save your mad parade
Oh Lord God have mercy All crimes are paid

When there's no future How can there be sin
We're the flowers in the dustbin
We're the poison in your human machine
We're the future, your future

God save the queen We mean it man
We love our queen God saves

God save the queen We mean it man
And there is no future In England's dreaming

No future, no future, No future for you
No future, no future, No future for me

No future, no future, No future for you
No future, no future For you



Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess I’m in Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess I’m in She walked up to me
And really stole my heart And then she started
To take my body apart

*livin’, lovin’, I’m on the run Far away from you
Livin’, lovin’, I’m on the run So far away from you

Doctor doctor, please Oh, I’m goin’ fast
Doctor doctor, please, Oh, I’m goin’ fast
It’s only just a moment, She’s turnin’ paranoid
That’s not a situation for a nervous boy

Doctor doctor, please Oh, the mess I’m in
Doctor doctor, please, Oh, the mess I’m in
But you look so angry As I crawled across your floor
She’s got the strain, And I can’t take any more



4 nuns died in a car crash and appeared at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter comes out to welcome them but tells each nun that to enter they must answer a question and the response must be the truth.
St Peter first goes to mother superior and asks “have you ever touched a mans privates?” to which mother superior replies “Yes, but only with my finger”. St Peter "ok, not a problem, just wash your finger in holy water and you can come in. St Peter then comes to the second nun and asks the same question to which the nun replies “Yes sir, with my hand”. St Peter says “ok, not a problem, just wash your hand in holy water and you can come in.
St Peter then comes to the 3rd and 4th nun who are for some reason squabbling. St Peter says “Now, Now, there’s no reason to fight, there is plenty of room inside for everyone to which the 4th nun shouts “If you think I’m washing my mouth out in the holy water after she’s had her arse in it you’ve got another thing coming.