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Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program For Lead In Next 'Batman' 1:31 2
Inside The Onion News Network 2:05 2
PETA Protests Use Of Chickens To Randomly Pick Oscar Winners 3:03 2
Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart 1:35 2
Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man 2:20 2
Troubled Democrats To Undergo Party Counseling 1:44 2
Donald Trump Under Pressure To Prove He's Not A Pathetic Sack Of Human Scum 1:51 2
Rod Stewart Easily Passes For An Elderly Aunt 1:28 2
Joe Biden Introduces Trio Of Sexy Bodyguards 1:48 2
Popular 1920s Dance Originated As Way To Terrorize Jews (Season 1: Ep 6 on IFC) 1:10 2
Brooke Alvarez Tells You How to Look Good for the End of the World 1:23 2
Man Born With Stupid, Goddamn Face You Just Want To Punch (Season 2: Ep 1 On IFC) 1:10 2
Ashton Kutcher Caught Canoodling With Ancient Disc Made Of Pure Evil 2:31 2
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots 1:10 1
Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment 2:02 1
Breaking News: Woman Crying On Train Platform 2:09 1
Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet 2:47 1
Ear Of Genetically Modified Corn Begs For Death 2:16 1
Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language 2:33 1
Oklahoma Doctors Can Legally Pretend To Give Abortions 2:19 1
Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident 1:48 1
Man Becomes GOP Frontrunner After Showing No Interest In Government 1:28 1
Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish 2:12 1
The Onion Review: Obama Casts National Musical 2:49 1
How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him 2:39 1
Onion Review: Congress Cuts Its Step-Son's Funding 2:43 1
In The Know: Should The Nation's Unemployed Be Buying New Apple Computers? 3:04 1
268 Feral Cats Removed From U.N Headquarters 1:49 1
Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five" 2:24 1
Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will 2:25 1
Predator Drone Court-Martialed For Afghani Civilian Deaths 1:16 1
Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand 1:04 1
Other Guy Named Osama Bin Laden Can Finally Relax 1:53 1
Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart 2:37 1
Live: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams 1:42 1
Update: Obama Yet Again Refrains From Obliterating Human Race 1:58 1
Shelby Cross Instructs Viewers To Build "Justice Shed" 3:18 1
Report: Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds 2:50 1
Today Now!: Save Money By Taking A Vacation Entirely In Your Mind 2:27 1
Live: Senator Addresses Rumors Of Horse Affair 1:27 1
Anti-Gay Senator's Horse Affair Caught On Tape 1:34 1
In The Know: Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit 2:39 1
Potential School Shooter Gunned Down By Popular Jock 2:38 1
Mr. Met Takes Out Frustration On Fans At Citi Field. 1:23 1
Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident 2:49 1
Pope Supports Gay Marriage After Meeting Charming Connecticut Couple 1:20 1
Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate? 2:45 1
Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia 1:32 1
Ruin The Economy Or Not? Congress Still Unable To Decide 1:56 1
Peyton Manning Says He Will Play In Colts Opener After Performing Neck Surgery On… 2:56 1
Steve Jobs Resigns After Realizing Technology Has Gone As Far As It Can 2:18 1
Small Town's UFO Scare Revealed To Be Alien Hoax (Season 1: Ep 8 on IFC) 1:17 1
Panthers Name Cam Newton Starting QB Because Everybody Seems To Think They Should 3:08 1
All Financial Experts Urge Americans To Invest Money In Print Media Immediately 2:28 1
Ben Roethlisberger Close To Completing Offseason Without Committing Sex Crime 2:53 1
Remembering 9/11 A Pleasure For Nation Compared To Remembering Past 10 Years 2:29 1
New Psychedelic Weight Loss Drug Transforms Food Into Monstrous Hallucinations… 1:54 1
Brooke Alvarez Attempts To Connect With The Common Man By Answering Viewer Questions 0:52 1
Indianapolis' 2020 Olympic Bid Video: "Our Time To Shine" 1:10 1
Falcons CB Dunta Robinson To Be Publicly Hanged For Illegal Hit 2:41 1
Obama Accidentally Seated Next To Taliban Leader At Tense White House State Dinner 2:39 1
Toy Prepares Child To One Day Pull Around Real Telephone On Wheels 2:39 1
Brooke Explains Why She Has No Problem with Drunk Texting 1:00 1
Brutal Spouse-Fighting Ring Discovered in Miami Basement (Preview of Season 2 on IFC) 2:21 1
Brooke Alvarez Decides Who's the Worst Liar in Washington 1:09 1
Red Sox Sell Out Of Commemorative "Collapse 2011" Hats, T-Shirts 0:54 1
A-Rod Past Prime, Unable To Match Asinine Public Embarrassments Of Years Past 2:31 1
'Onion News Network' Season 2 Premieres Tonight Just In Time For The End Of The World 0:33 1
Sidney Crosby Tells Telephone Pole He Has Recovered From Concussion 2:27 1
Last Bastion Of U.S. Economy Succumbs To Pancreatic Cancer 2:08 1
Yankees, Phillies Playing Sad Little World Series Of Their Own 2:29 1
Occupy Wall Street Protester’s Head Used To Ring Opening Bell at New York Stock… 2:20 1
Comatose John Clarkson Drops Out of GOP Race Due To Sex Scandal 1:06 1
Shelby Cross Teaches Us How To Protect Our Children On Halloween, A.K.A. The… 1:50 1
Brooke Alvarez Assures Us Romantics That True Love Does Exist 1:10 1
Tim Tebow Becomes First Bad Quarterback To Lead 4th Quarter Comeback 2:30 1
Brooke Alvarez Teaches Us How To Deal With Uninformed People 1:10 1
Report: Some Sick Fuck Out There Now Supporting Herman Cain Because Of Sexual… 2:53 1
Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine 2:19 1
High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos 0:48 1
Brooke Alvarez Explains Why There Are So Many People In Prison 0:53 1
Parents Keep Deceased Son's Memory Alive Through His Awful Tumblr 1:41 1
NBA Players, Owners Fail To Reach Agreement Where They Would Beat Each Other With… 2:32 1
Doofus Chilean Miner Stuck Down There Again 2:41 1
Brooke Alvarez Has All The Answers, Even About Particle Physics 1:07 1
Aaron Rodgers Vows To Make Season Interesting By Killing Self 2:37 1
Report: Nobody's Heard From David Blaine In A While, Somebody Should Probably Check… 2:43 1
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall 2:35 1
Year In Review: Tim Tebow Becomes First Christian To Play In NFL 2:33 1
Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear - Year In Review 3:28 1
2011 Top Story: Navy SEALS Discover Bin Laden Gained 300 Pounds 1:26 1
Traveling Group Of Medieval Mummers Is America's Top Pick For Holiday Entertainment 2:32 1
2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official 1:19 1
Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink 2:35 1
Feds Break Up Brutal Las Vegas Man-Fighting Ring 2:28 1
BREAKING: Witch Who Granted Beyoncé Fame Returns To Claim Firstborn Child 2:30 1
Grover Norquist: 'I Engaged In A Week-Long Drug-Filled Orgy With Corporate Income… 1:59 1
Alex Smith Boasts 49ers Have What It Takes To Win Despite Him 2:40 1