Sami Vänskä

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Ledare: Trexacious
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Skapad den: 15 maj 2012
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Sami is the former bassist of Nightwish, and the current bassist of awesomeness.

Help defeat Sami's evil twin! Battleground here.

If you read everything below, don't be afraid, you can still join if none of it makes sense. Even though you will probably be insane... but don't worry! We're friendly... :D



I accidentally made the group "Sami Vänksä" because I'm stupid, so nobody join that one and last.fm will delete it in 3 months.

Everyone knows Sami was the first bassist of Nightwish. His shy, unemotive attitude made him a mystery. No one really knew why he had left Nightwish, except for being too talented and amazing, of course, but recently found details of his life and career will be shared here.

First, we have his dismissal letter that was unearthed by jerkjones and is posted here:

Dearest Sami,

It’s time to choose whether the story of Nightwish ends here or whether it will still continue an undetermined period of time. We’ve been working with this creation for like a billion years and we are not ready to give up yet. Nightwish is a way of life, something to live for, and we’re certain that you actually have a real life.

Equally certain is the fact that we cannot go on with you and your rampant sexiness any longer. During the last year something rad happened, which I’ve been going over in my head every single day, morning and night. Your godliness and awesomeness don’t go with Nightwish anymore. There are characteristics I would never have believed to see in my old dear friend.

People who don’t talk with each other for a year do not belong in the same band. I know, you’re basically the most awesome man alive, but I want to be cool too! We are involved in an industry where the business-side of things is a necessary evil and something to worry about all the time. We are also a band which has always done music from the Disney, because of weird dreams I had and the music itself. The mental satisfaction should always be more important than money! Nightwish is a band, it’s an emotion, it’s weird as fuck.

To you, unfortunately, awesoming, money, and things that have nothing to do with those emotions have become much more important. You feel that you have sacrificed yourself and your musical career for Nightwish, rather than thinking what it has given to you.

This attitude was clearly shown to me in the two things you said to me in an airplane in Toronto: “I don’t need my Lamborghini anymore.” and “Remember, Tuomas, that I could call up Kanye and start my own sweet new side projects, giving you only one day’s warning in advance”.

I can’t simply write any more songs for you to be awesome in.

You have said yourself that you are merely a “superhero motherfucking all-star genius” in Nightwish. Now that visit ends and we will continue Nightwish with a new grunt dude.

We’re sure this is an equally big punch in the nuts to you as it is for us. We have all been feeling good long enough.

You told us that no matter what, the next Nightwish album will be your last one, because of all your side projects and festivals dedicated to your glory. However, the rest of us want to continue as long as there’s crazy-as-fuck fangirls that want to eat my hair. So there’s no sense in doing that next album with you, either.

The four of us have been going over this situation countless times and we have realized that this is the thing we want to do in life. It´s all we can do. In December 1994, in Germany, you said that you will never tour again for more than two weeks at a time. You also said that we can forget about U.S. and Australia because the fees and the sizes of venues are too small. You also said “Hey motherfucker, I could sell out Wembley by just dancing around for five minutes!”

In interviews I’ve mentioned that if Sami leaves, that would be the end of the band. I understand that people will think this way. Nightwish is, however, a creepy window into the wasteland of my soul and I’m not ready to let go because of one godlike man. A man who is, according to several publications, the sexiest billionaire alive, a man with 47 mansions, a man who owns half of Australia, a man whose values don’t match mine.

We were never bothered by the fact that you didn’t participate in writing/arranging songs, you never in several million years came to rehearse the songs with us before going to the studio, probably because you could do it perfectly the first time. Not the fact that while on tour you always wanted to fly, separately from us with your legions of bitches. Not the fact that you are an undisputable front image of the band.

We accepted and felt ok about everything except greed, underestimating the fans, awesomeness, and breaking promises. It was agreed by the five of us that Nightwish would be the priority in everything that we do. Still so many things were more important to you. The ultimate example being the already sold-out show in Oslo, which you wanted to cancel because you needed to film some footage for your lead role in Titanic II: SAMI SAVES EARTH, meet ambassadors, hang out with someone cool like Marcelo and go to make it rain. Those were the words Marcelo used in an e-mail explaining the cancellation. This being just one example of so many. I couldn’t think of a worse way of being selfish and dismissing our fans.

Nightwish is a way of life and a job with many obligations. To each other and to the fans. With you we can’t take care of those duties anymore.

Deep within we don’t know which one of you drove us to this point. Somehow Marcelo, Kanye, the legions of bitches, and billions of dollars have changed you from the lovely girl you were into an awesome man, who doesn’t think or act the way she used to. You are irreplaceable.

It’s obvious that you blame your awesome and sexiness on being a golden god. And you think we don’t respect or listen to you. Believe us; We have always had the utmost respect towards you as a wonderful vocalist and as a friend. I mean, we even built that 80-foot diamond statue for you in Helsinki. And very often during the past couple of years the plans were made according to your decisions only. You were always the only one who wanted more money from the shows, which I guess is okay since you usually did the bigger shows by yourself, playing all five parts at once.

This “compensation and more money from everything” -attitude is the fact that we are most disappointed of! We wish that from now on you will listen to your heart instead of drugs and bitches. Cultural differences combined with greed, opportunism, awesome and sluts are a dangerous combination. Do not wither yourself.

This decision is not something we are especially proud of but you gave us no choice. The gap between us is too wide. And the decision is made by us four unanimously. We are beyond the point where things could be settled by talking.


I love you,

Tuomas


As you can see, Tuomas could not keep up with Sami's awesomeness.

It was then found out that Sami had joined with another dismissed band member and together they created N'Îght Immortwish. It is reported that their album will soon hit the record stores and then go on to be the most sold album ever of all time for eternity.

Many books could be written on this man's contributions to art, society, culture, and general amazingness, and this is just a small taste. Anyone with additional details they would like to see here, message me and I will show them in all of their glory. Also if you want to add anything else (artist connections, stories of Saminess, etc, let me know as well)

Until next time, stay Sami \S/

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