The Who Would Win FINALS!!!

 
    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 10:57

    The Who Would Win FINALS!!!

    SORRY! I know this should of been done yesterday but I wasn't able to get to a computer. Today I can so everything ought to be hunky-dory now...

    Its the finals are here! This one will work slightly differently in that we currently have 6 battles to vote on now, then we'll have 3 at a later date, then a single 3 way battle finale to decide the ultimate overall winner of the WHO WOULD WIN TOURNAMMENTTTTTTTT!!!... [cue explosions and dancing girls]

    Margaret Thatcher 5-2 Chuck Norris
    Genghis Khan 4-3 Steve Buscemi
    Friedrich Nietzsche 2-5 Odin
    Dick van Dyke 6-1 Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins
    Pedobear 5-1 Skynet (scores uneven due to RailgunX's LIES!!!)
    A Chimpanzee (2) Batman (2) The Flying Spaghetti Monster (3)


    Margaret Thatcher (she has absorbed Raptor Jesus's divinity and become a god in her own right! as well as a tentacle beast... [remember what happened to the poor Blair monster?])
    VS.

    Chuck Norris (not even Techno Viking transforming into a wolf could stop him!)

    ~


    Genghis Khan (he finally arrowed Mr. T to death and evaded Princes androgynous charms long enough to shiv him, and even managed to find time to release a highly personal gansta' rap album [pictured above]
    VS.

    Steve Buscemi (he's got two Screen Actors Guild Awards and now hot to use 'em!)

    ~


    Friedrich Nietzsche (proving that words can be deadlier than lazer cats and lions riding horses, anybody foolish enough going up against Nietzche may find themselves slicing open their own wrists to Linkin Park in no time!)
    VS.

    Odin (he wasn't about to be outsmarted the powers of an evil self-aware flesh-appropriating telephone - any upstarts who seek to oust Odin from his throne can kindly insert themselves at the end of his mighty fur boots!)

    ~


    Dick van Dyke (one of his many female admirers sent him a crack sqaud of rape penguins as reward for taking out that smug self-centered PC in the last round)
    VS.

    Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins (after turning Genesis into a double whopper meal [maybe thats what that Hamburger Lady song was all about wants to get the finals over and done with so he can carry on his doom/sludge metal project [band members pictured above])

    ~


    Pedobear (what happened to Bach and Ilsa can't be mentioned here :'c - but what I can tell you is that Pedobear seems to gained the ability to split himself into two slightly smaller forms. Potentially he might divide himself into a swarm of tiny but lethal Pedobears! Like that terrifying Greg Bear book Blood Music! [is Greg Bear an alias?!!!])
    VS.

    Skynet (not even Jabba with all his connections could fend off the all-seeing all-knowing multi-instrumental power of Skynet)

    ~


    This chimp (didn't I warn you! he can shift between human and chimp form! he can't be stopped!!!)
    VS.

    Batman (ity seems Kirk the seducer was seduced by The Batman [incredibly sexy picture posted as evidence to this...])
    VS.

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster (and his triumvirate forms: God, The Son [pictured above] and The Holy Bolognese...)


    Margaret Thatcher VS. Chuck Norris
    Genghis Khan VS. Steve Buscemi
    Friedrich Nietzsche VS. Odin
    Dick van Dyke VS. Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins
    Pedobear VS. Skynet
    A Chimpanzee VS. Batman VS. The Flying Spaghetti Monster

    ~

    For sake of ease, just quote this part of the post and delete the combatant you think would lose, which should hopefully leave us with the eventual finalists. Add descriptions of the epic fights or your reasoning of your choices if like!

    1. Margaret Thatcher VS. Chuck Norris
    2. Genghis Khan VS. Steve Buscemi
    3. Friedrich Nietzsche VS. Odin
    4. Dick van Dyke VS. Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins
    5. Pedobear VS. Skynet
    6. A Chimpanzee VS. Batman VS. The Flying Spaghetti Monster (you'll have to pick 2 losers here)

    ~

    I'd also like it noted that there was NO WAY Techno Viking could of lost! I'm disappointed in all of you...

    ;p

    Redigerat av en raderad användare den 24 feb 2011, 22:43
    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 11:44
    1. Margaret Thatcher VS. Chuck Norris

    Thatcher wins in protest over Churk Norris beating Technoking. I'm just ignoring the fact Norris won.


    2. Genghis Khan VS. Steve Buscemi

    Khaaaaaan! [winner]

    3. Friedrich Nietzsche VS. Odin

    Odin wins, Nietzsche is too hard to spell.


    4. Dick van Dyke VS. Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins

    Dick van Dyke ...dicks + dykes win.


    5. Pedobear VS. Skynet

    Pedobear could probably take down skynet, his reach globally pwns Skynet and can't be destroyed with conventional weaponary.

    6. A Chimpanzee VS. Batman VS. The Flying Spaghetti Monster (you'll have to pick 2 losers here)

    Batman always wins, the chimp and the flying spaghetti monster just don't stand a chance in a 3 way with Batman

    • lawynd sa...
    • Abonnent
    • 23 feb 2011, 13:03

    Re: The Who Would Win FINALS!!!

    1. Margaret Thatcher - this bitch isn't for turning, not even when roundhouse kicked from the other side of the solar system. Also, Norris was clearly using performance-enhancing lolz to beat Technoviking, and has been disqualified by the IWWWA.

    2. Steve Buscemi - a mounted Mongol warrior with sword and bow, versus a chap with not one, but TWO Screen Actors Guild Awards, wears pink well, survived an encounter with El Mariachi and rides thermonuclear devices? Poor bastard didn't stand a chance.

    3. Odin - an epic battle of philosophical wits, solved by the fact that one of them has a dirty great big BATTLEAXE.

    4. Dick van Dyke - not even Hopkins could fail to fall for the rogueish, mockney charms of everyone's favourite chimney sweep. That's when he'd get turned into roadkill by that bloody flying car.

    5. Pedobear - the internet is for porn, and it proves to be an extremely able delivery system for a virus.

    6. A Chimpanzee - he's not going to respect tights no matter how tight they may be, and spaghetti monster is going to prove little more than a light snack for this deadliest of foes.

    Official recorder of Schrödinger's Tampon.

    Quote of the moment - "They tried to get me to eat haggis but I couldn't stomach it."
  • Re: The Who Would Win FINALS!!!

    Selfsurprise said:


    1. Chuck Norris
    2. Genghis Khan
    3. Odin
    4. Dick van Dyke
    5. Pedobear
    6. Batman


    Wait a minute, I moved out of the desert years ago!
    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 15:11
    1. Margaret Thatcher: Infuriated with Techno Viking ignominous (and suspicious) defeat at the hands (well... feet...) of Che' Norrison - Thatcher transforms into her most inhuman and horrifying form to date. No human (not even Chuck) can withstand the site of it. Thatcher's true form was the inspiration for HP Lovecrafts Shub-Niggurath; and he even diluted his description in order to preserve the sanity of his readers!

    2. Steve Buscemi: Khan can say goodbye to his sphincter. By the time Buscemi has avenged Mr. T and freed Alice from quite literal bondage - Genghy won't have a pelvis left to walk away from the battle. If thats not enough, he'sheard Grandamasta G.K's massively overrated debut - and isn't impressed...

    3. Friedrich Nietzsche: Odin may of recovered from his time based madness after meeting the telephone, but he can't deny Nietzsche's nihilistic tuff' guy truths. Friedrich wouldn't have fight Odin! He'd just mockingly deny his existence and he'd disappear in a puff of atheist logic.

    4. Dick van Dyke: Lawynd is right. He has chitty chitty bang bang at his disposal. How can a crucifix and a bit of fire help Hopkins here? Happily Hopkins decides to end this charade after realizing both he and Dick Van Dokken are equally cool as tits - at the last minute forms a badass drone band with Dicky as vocalist. They shake hands on a technical defeat but take the avant-garde metal world by storm. They'll be headlining Supersonic by 2012 :)

    5. Pedobear: The Pedobear Swarm makes Skynet look like a drop of water in amongst a dune of sand grains. It/they/he will slowly, inexorably, inevitably overwhelm da' terminators mom and dad.

    6. A Chimpanzee: The Chimp knew how to play on Bruce Wayne's self-doubt and fear of failure, more so than The Joker ever could. And just when The Batman thought he was about to snap and end the chimps life... it turned the tables a popped a cap in his white ass. As for the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for all its divine powers, the chimp knew its secret weakness.

    It's aims are mysterious, its goals indefinable, it hasn't entered this contest for fame or glory. Its purposes are much more sinister and alien than that. It simply wants to kill...

    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 15:15
    Time to tally the current scores.

    Margaret Thatcher 3-1 Chuck Norris
    Genghis Khan 2-2 Steve Buscemi
    Friedrich Nietzsche 1-3 Odin
    Dick van Dyke 4-0 Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins
    Pedobear 4-0 Skynet
    A Chimpanzee (2) Batman (2) The Flying Spaghetti Monster (0)

    • RailgunX sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 19:39

    Re: The Who Would Win FINALS!!!

    1. Margaret Thatcher Sex change for the win!
    2. Genghis Khan That man was too funny looking to let live!
    3. Friedrich Nietzsche All truth is simple... is that not doubly a lie?
    4. Dick van Dyke Can't burn a suit this good!
    5. Skybear Pedonet They fused together, abandon all hope!
    6. The Flying Spaghetti Monster Come over for dinner?

    Redigerad av RailgunX den 23 feb 2011, 19:47
  • 1. Margaret Thatcher VS. Chuck Norris

    Thatcher: She would seduce him with her right-wing views, then use her combination of iron and pure evil to crush him into 1% of his original size.

    2. Genghis Khan VS. Steve Buscemi

    Khan: He conquered more territory then anyone else, even an ugly man with a couple of awards can't harm him

    3. Friedrich Nietzsche VS. Odin

    Odin: Nietzsche would try and use philosophical arguments but then Odin would melt him

    4. Dick van Dyke VS. Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins

    Dick Van Dyke: He would rescue the witches from Hopkins, then destroy them with his charm.

    5. Pedobear VS. Skynet

    Pedobear: It would get into the system and use it to expand his global empire

    6. A Chimpanzee VS. Batman VS. The Flying Spaghetti Monster

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster: Batman would quickly be killed, then an epic battle of holy proportions would occur, with the FSM eventually using his religious words to tame the chimpanzee and convert him, to his cause.

    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 23 feb 2011, 22:15
    A lot of people underestimating the dark knight-caped crusader-gotham's prince of darkness.

    For shame, and there are even great batman video games out now.

    How can a chimp and some idiotic spaghetti-monster creation beat the behemoth of the Bat?

    • lawynd sa...
    • Abonnent
    • 24 feb 2011, 00:46
    Never underestimate a chimp with a hand cannon.

    Official recorder of Schrödinger's Tampon.

    Quote of the moment - "They tried to get me to eat haggis but I couldn't stomach it."
    • bobcot87 sa...
    • Användare
    • 24 feb 2011, 10:21
    1. Chuck Norris

    Thatcher's exhausted by this point, think Raptor Jesus took it out of her and the Iron Lady is looking a little rusty

    2. Steve Buscemi

    Steve Buscemi will drive through the streets wearing Gengis Khan's head as a hat

    3. Odin

    If Odin can beat the mental trickery of Loki then he can easily push Nietzsche aside

    4. Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins

    Dick Van Dyke will be inconsolable after his friend Mary Poppins was labelled a witch and burned for her devilry

    5. Skynet

    Pedobear's skills are useless against Skynet

    6. The Flying Spaghetti Monster

    He's a god...

    To live in the hearts we leave behind
    Is not to die

    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 24 feb 2011, 11:19
    lawynd said:
    Never underestimate a chimp with a hand cannon.


    There was no mention of one :p

    • [Raderad användare] sa...
    • Användare
    • 24 feb 2011, 22:38
    DaddyPobbin said:
    lawynd said:
    Never underestimate a chimp with a hand cannon.


    There was no mention of one :p


    He had a pistol in the last round.

    PHYSICAL WEAPONS ARE MEANINGLESS TO ULTRACHIMP NOW

    [scores updated, thanks for the votes everypeoples!]

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